To my Grandpa…

Robert I. Hopp

HOPP (Sparta) - Robert I. Hopp, age 77, formerly of Croton and Wyoming, passed away on Thursday, June 11, 2009 at his home. He loved walking in the woods with his dog and working in his yard. He is survived by his wife of 58 years, Marian; children, Tom and Sue Hopp, Sue and Ken Crandle, Jan and Ron Cornelisse, Dave and Tammie Hopp, Rob and Barb Hopp; 14 grandchildren; 29 great grandchildren; several nieces and nephews. As Robert had wished cremation has taken place and a memorial service will be held on Tuesday, June 16, 11:00 a.m. at the Sparta United Methodist Church with Rev. Ray Townsend officiating. Friends may meet the family at the church one hour prior to the service. In lieu of flowers the family suggests memorial contributions to Gilda's Club or Faith Hospice. Hessel-Cheslek Funeral Home, Sparta

My dear grandpa passed away last week.  Around a month ago, he was diagnosed with Lung cancer, and then after some other tests, he was found to have some type of brain (i don’t know the ins and outs of it all) cancer that had spread throughout his body, but the majority of it was focused on the brain.  There weren’t many treatment options, but he chose to go without treatment, as the cancer that he had was one that moves and grows quickly…The doctors told him it would be a month or so.  so here we are…He’s gone.  My grandpa, my mom’s dad, my children’s great grandpa…he loved the outdoors, animals (hmmmm…no wonder my mom would take in any stray animal she found…), kiddos, music (another one…my grandpa was an amazing musician – if he heard it, he could duplicate it on his organ that he had many years ago).  He played saxophone in a big band – gotta love jazz!  He cared and loved his family deeply, and became the hero to us all, as the main care taker of his beautiful bride…my grandma was diagnosed with lymphoma many years ago…she’s been through chemo, radiation, strokes, heart attacks, and through it all, he was by her side, loving her and doing what it took to care for her the best he knew how. 

Many years ago at a celebration of life get together we had – celebrating the life that my grandma still had (thank you Lord!)  My mom and her 4 siblings (and all of us grandchildren too) presented Grandpa with a plaque with this writing on it, it’s a column by Erma Bombeck:

"Heroes make caring a full time job"
by Erma Bombeck

In a recent column I lamented the shortage of heroes. I was wrong. There  isn't a scarcity of heroes: I was just looking in the wrong places. I  thought they hung out in sports arenas, great halls, battlefields or  between the pages of adventure books.

I should have been looking for them in pharmacies where they are waiting  to have prescriptions filled, in hospital corridors keeping vigil, or collapsing in wheelchairs and storing them in trunks of cars.

They are called nurturers - the well one in the family who takes care of  the one with needs.

How many times have we passed by without seeing these nameless, faceless  people who roll out of bed each day to serve? Most of them live in the  shadows of those who are ill. They are not used to someone asking how they  feel. If it should miraculously happen, they would probably feel guilty  answering, "Fine".

Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain. The  nurturer faces each day without benefit of numbing pain killers or  anesthetics.

They live in a world where personal feelings and duty clash. Those who  have assumed the mantle of responsibility for another human being hate the  word "hero". They are doing what they want to do, must do and wouldn't  want anyone else to do.

I have observed women who pay the bills, have the oil changed in the car,  change furnace filters, negotiate for a new roof, turn over CD's and go  crazy trying to keep pace with Medicare and Medicaid forms when their  husbands are unable to do so.

I have seen men who bake pies, do the marketing, address Christmas cards,  keep track of birthdays, water plants, scrub floors and go crazy trying to  keep pace with Medicare and Medicaid forms when their wives are unable to  do so.

And daily I watch grown children who run errands, make a million phone  calls, take parents to appointments, drop off food, make sure their  license plates are current, their lawns cut and their walks cleared of  snow and go crazy trying to keep pace with Medicare and Medicaid forms.

Today would be a good time to think about them. And when you see a  nurturer, ask, "How you doin'?"

He was, and will remain the hero in our family…

Thank you grandpa for loving us all, and for being my hero.  I won’t forget you.  Out on the frozen creek sledding or ice skating in Newaygo, pictures (you’re favorite – ha!) on the picture spot in your old back yard, you “letting” us draw pictures on your back just so you could get your back scratched, getting on the floor and playing with us when we were little – and getting on the floor with my little ones to play!  I’ll never forget the way you hugged, how you grunted “love you too”…your forever strong hands, and your skills/knowledge/desire to do/make/fix anything you wanted.  I only pray that i can pass all of those great things on to my family.

  You’re amazing, I love you…